


a man could be his own eternal night

by chandrasekhar



Category: Batman - All Media Types, DCU
Genre: Angst, Dick-centric, Family, Gen, Introspection, References to Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-11
Updated: 2018-01-11
Packaged: 2019-03-03 10:15:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 550
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13339122
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chandrasekhar/pseuds/chandrasekhar
Summary: Richard Grayson sets up the bar high enough that none of the Robins ever get there.





	a man could be his own eternal night

**Author's Note:**

> title comes from the poem Portrait of My Father as a Pianist, by Cynthia Dewi Oka
> 
> I wish I still had the time to go over all the issues I need to read to make this more canon-related, but ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ ~~and I don't really care about ooc, so... idk. if it bothers you, just pretend this is some kind of au or something~~
> 
> all mistakes are mine, and english isn't my mother language, so there's that?  
> either way, I hope you enjoy~

**JASON TODD**

Jason is easy to understand. He bleeds the need to be accepted in his own terms, in his own way, and the determination in his eyes seems to be based on the logic that if he doesn't show himself to be better than Dick ever was, Bruce won't love him.

He doesn't get that Bruce will love him anyway. That Robin might feel like it's everything, but he'll grow out of it into his own persona, outside the shadow of one Richard Grayson, and that it won't hurt nearly as much as he thinks it will.

Jason never gets those parts, any of them. He doesn’t get the chance to.

 

**TIMOTHY DRAKE**

Timothy is a bit harder to figure out. But not impossible. He's quiet, quieter than any other Robin has ever been, or will ever, be.

He does his homework. From all of his siblings, Dick knows Tim is the one who's most likely to point out his previous mistakes, his flaws. To know that despite all, Dick Grayson's Robin wasn't perfect. And that should be enough, shouldn't it? But Tim is also awed, bound by some sense of duty or something to a city that has never given any of them anything to believe in. And when he takes up the mantle, he doesn't plan on wanting to be loved, on wanting to be accepted, on wishing to belong.

He does it anyway, and there’s not a day Dick doesn’t blame himself for breaking his heart.

 

**STEPHANIE BROWN**

Stephanie never wanted to be him. Dick respects that. She wasn’t trying to live up to some distorted image of Robin. She wanted to be the best version of  _ herself _ , and sometimes that meant choosing the person over the mission, even if Bruce didn’t see it that way.

Bruce never saw it that way. Stephanie was bright and full of passion, fighting tooth and nail for her ideals and for the people she cared about.

Stephanie was bright and full of passion. And just like Jason, she died that way.

 

**DAMIAN WAYNE**

Damian is similar to the others, more than any of them will ever admit. The need to be accepted, the urge to surpass all the previous versions of Robin; the mentality that they need to earn it to keep it, as if Robin is eternal, as if it means anything other than what it really is.

Damian is brash and violent and a brat. And Bruce loves him. Dick knows he does. Damian doesn't. 

How many more times can history repeat itself before it finally tires?

 

**~**

 

Dick should feel proud of himself. Probably. On some level or another, it's undeniable the amount of effort he's put into being Robin. It was everything for him. Orphaned and traumatized, the superhero world set something alight inside of him; a spark that not even years in the job have managed to smother down, even when the awe is long gone.

He's the Robin whose legacy his brothers are trying to reach. He's their model, the final boss. Dick should feel proud of himself, of his achievements. But he doesn't. He's tired of watching his brothers work themselves to death in hopes of reaching an illusion of him.

Richard Grayson was the best Robin. Sometimes, he wishes he hadn't been.


End file.
